Some new rules...

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: Baseball cards: if you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop messing around with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy. Paper, plastic? I don't have time for that. I've just been called to do a cleanup on Aisle Nine!

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in
months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese

They are kidding right?

The idea is cool, but man this is EXPENSIVE!!
Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. There are some real legends there I tell you. What a joke..and for 8500.00 no less.

Rock and Roll...

Miles Davis, Black Sabbath, the Sex Pistols, Blondie and Lynyrd Skynyrd will be in this crop Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees.

Its a shame Miles Davis can't be there I would love to see where he'd take the All Star Jam at the end. First he'd tell all the white people to piss off then he'd melt everyone's face. Buy some Miles Davis, any and be blown away.

Black Sabbath gets in but I thought Ozzy was all against being in because "Fans can't get in to the show". Well Ozzy do what AC/DC did a few years back and have a show the night before or after for $10.00.

The Sex Pistols are a head scratcher on some levels. Sure they released one of the most important records of all time but they released ONE album. They hardly toured the USA, fired the founding bass player, replaced w/a junkie who killed his girl friend, then overdosed (why is there NOT a Behind the Music on them?!). I think the worst part of all this is going to be Johnny "Rotton" Lydons freaking silly posturing at the acceptance podium. Do everyone a favor and for once in your life be happy and show some sign of gratitude. I like the Pistols and like
Public Image Limited even more but Johnny its getting old..really.

Blondie will we great and gracious and sexy and show all these young "pop" queens how to dress and sing.

I am not a Skynard
fan at all..mosty cuz I don't like Southern Rock but I can't take away from them what they did, or what they had been through.

Not a bad crop and heck if I got asked to go I'd prolly check it out.

Yes hi..hello.

Dwight Rules!!


So how was your weekend? I ate my fill of food and did NOT hear Alices Resturant so it was all very nice. I didn't hear that silly Sandler song either.

I watched Millions over the weekend. It was EXCELLENT! I never get to the movies (you are reading the blog of a person that has seen NONE of the LOTR movies..i know I am getting there). In the Sunday paper I like to read the movie reviews and this one was highly rated so I just added it to my netflix queue. The film was directed by the same guy that did Trainspotting. Its nothing like that, but I can see his eye in the film. It was just so very good. One of the better films I have seen in a while.

Todd McFarlane makes some sweet looking toys I am not going to deny that I don't have 2-3 of his NHL figures on my desk but I am not sure about this direction he is taking. 3D Album covers is what he wants to take on next.

I think that is all I have for now.

oh yeah..

Last night during The Office on the back patio Clap Your Hands Say Yeah could be heard. Well done. I need to be the music selector for shows. Who gets those gigs?!

Gobble gobble and all that jazz.

Can someone please..anyone.... tell me (without searching the web) a SINGLE song that Arlo Guthrie has done other than Alices Restaurant? Sweet mother of all that is good an holy. This has to be far and away the WORST of the worst holiday traditions in playing this garbage passed on as a Thanksgiving Song every year at noon on Thanksgiving Day.. Walking into a store and seeing Christmas decorations before Halloween doesn't send me into a rage as much as hearing even the utterance of this silly, overly long, self induldget, DATED heaping (and steaming) pile of dung to ever come along (before creed, nickleback etc).

A "rock" station here in Boston has an advertisement for this happening on Thanksgiving at noon. "Our holiday tradition continues". Hey Mr (or Mrs Program director) NOBODY wants to hear this. The only people that do are stuck in a car going somewhere and its and excuse for the kids to "pipe down" so they can hear this morons song. It blows. Stop playing it.

I know you are saying "March then don't listen" I won't trust me.

Then I see this nob even tours. You know what i bet he is the kind of asshat that would NOT play this song at his show..you know, only whips it out for those "special occasions". For him those occasions must mean "Holy crap I am NOT playing a state fair for once?"

End it..please stop.

I thought that Adam Sandler was going to give us something else with his "Thanksgiving" songs but those are so played out he had to do a part 2..just to keep cashing in. I swear there is a third version too. Both those songs suck too.

My goal on thanksgiving is to NOT hear Alices Restaurant and eat at minimum three plates of food. That my tradition..you are welcome to join me.

This is something we could all use...

Wanderlust, a California based media, digital map and location content provider, has signed up Mr. T, Burt Reynolds and Dennis Hopper to deliver their celebrity voices for turn-by-turn driving directions in the Navtones car navigation system. Mr. T not only guides, but also threatens: "Pay attention to what I'm saying!" They will be available for download by the end of the year and will be embedded in car navigation devices in the first quarter of 2006.

Monday Monday..baahh daaa da da da...

It was nice to have Friday off. Back to the grind as they say. Did you happen to catch Desperate Housewives last night? There was a funny line re: blogging. One of the characters asked an office assistant if he was "busy". His response: Just updating my blog why whats up?

Tomorrow is a good new release day. First there is Queens of the Stone Age. Looks like Pitchfork can live another day. I was waiting for a 5.0 or less.

Also System of a Down. It is part "2". If it comes close to pt1 I will be in for a treat.

Can I ask? Just what the heck is the thinking behind a Cars reunion (let alone in the first place) but with out Ric Ocasek?! You can read about it here.

Get yer barf bag handy.

Sat thru Fever Pitch Saturday. It was moderate. I think if you didn't live in New England it would be really ehh. The wife said it best re: Drew Barrymore. "I can't believe her as a character..no matter who she is supposed to play its always Drew Barrymore. If you are from New England see it..otherwise wait.

Finally, went to the Providence Bruins
last night with bud and blogger KK
It was great. Imagine, Chicken and french fries were 50 cents LESS than our ticket price. They won, in a shootout no less. Good times..good times indeed.

Scum bag..

Makes me loathe him even more.

After he got busted the last time a lot of stadiums stopped playing "rock and roll pt2" during games. Anytime I hear this song while watching a game on TV I think that city is a band of freaks too.

Not a lot today...

I was testing something out on my ipod the other night using my external speakers and I got sidetracked and left the room. I was listing to the new lightning bolt cd. After a few minutes I hear a call from the other room. "What are you listening to?" Umm Lightning Bolt why? "Is it supposed to sound like that?" hahahhaha

I took a walk today at lunch with the trusty old ipod. I usually just do 30 minutes so the playlist can be short and sweet. Today I got Mogwai into some My Morning Jacket then a bit of Dan Cooks standup finally into another My Morning Jacket tune that was 6+ minutes long. The walk ended with the tune "Hot Stenographer" from the band Kinski. This song smokes. I wish I could be around when bands name their tunes. Kinski is an instrumental rock outfit which is 99% of the time instrumental. This tune leads off their 2005 release Alpine Static.

I have been asked for some x-mas ideas. I am stumped. Prolly the norm, books and cds. I'll need to think more.

Finally..Hockey in High Def RULES.

Few more fave album covers.

The Clash - London Calling. This is one of those often duplicated never replicated images. Topper takes it out on his bass and the photographer never thought it would be much. One of the coolest things you will ever see at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and museum is this very bass on display.


Kiss - Alive! Released to capture the essence of the band live due to lackluster studio album sales. I had an older brother that had all these records. If I look at this cover long enough I can smell its awesomeness.


Arcade Fire - Funeral This is a recent release but I like the direction they took on this. The cd package as a whole is great. It has a replica theater style "Playbill" inside.


Sigur Ros - Agaetis Byrjun The album that introduced me to one of my current favorite bands. This is actually a fetus of an angel (you can see the wings on the back of the fetus). The image was drawn by their lead singer Jonsi

Let us think about summer 2006.

This movie looks really good. Might be a little too intense for the little ones though.

Part one of my favorite album covers...

Dim and I are music fans that work for the same company. Dim suggested doing our top 10 favorite album covers. I decided to have this take a little time. Today I will just give you 2 of my favorites.

This is the cover of Echo and the Bunnymens album "Heaven Up Here". They did a few covers in a row like this, but never caputred it as beautifully as this.



This is the cover of the album by Slint. Its called Spiderland. It is one of the greatest records ever made.

Stewart...OUT

I just read on yahoo news that the Apprentice Martha Stewart has been asked not to return. In a great case of spin control the network reps say "it was only intended to go for a single season". Uhh huh yeah right.

March gets his Goth on....

Okay a little set up. Bauhaus is a band that pretty much (at least in my mind)defined goth music. What is goth..think Marilyn Manson only cooler. Anyhow, they lasted only a few years and disbanded (for the first time) in 1983. As I was getting into my older highschool years I'd spend some time with their stuff and I always remember seeing their "import" cds as newbury comics. Simple cover art with huge sticker prices. A few years ago the guys toured again and this is yet another one of those "we love money more than we hate each other" tours. After the band broke up (the first time) 3 of the guys did Tones on Tail and then Love and Rockets (remember "So Alive", No New tale to tell?". Peter Murphy released some solo records as did David J (bass) and Daniel Ash (guitar). Nothing (barring early L+Rockets) was really worth the time IMO.

Fast forward to a week or so ago and I get an email that simply read "Bela Lugosi is dead" and the text was "Got free tickets you wanna go". A friend from highschool had the hookup..why not I'll go check em out.

We made our way into the city and headed over to the Orpheum. I can't think of the last time I was there (moe. after 9/11??) It was pretty funny to look at all the aging hipsters with their long black coats on and silly hairdo's etc. Where do these people work???! My bud steve said it best "they are baristas at Starbucks". It was flat out SILLY how stupid some of these people looked. I am all for being your own person..IN HIGH SCHOOL! I am talking 35 year old dudes that dusted off the leather jacket and put on mascara etc. Can't you just go to a show and not dress up like a fool?

There were no opening act so the band took the stage right about 8pm. It was as I expected lots of single spot lights, smoke machines and strobes. All in all it was a pretty great show. David J (bass) is far better than I ever remembered. He was just as tight as a drum on the low end. Kevin Haskins (Drums who is actually Davids brother) was not over the top but held it all together. Daniel Ash played guitar and sax and tossed in some vocals here and there. Peter Murphy looked like he was 8 feet tall and only seemed to grow as the show went along. The highlights were She's In parties, Stigmata Martyr and of course the epic Bela Lugosi's Dead. The one real cool thing they could have done was a repeat of what they did at Cochella this year when they played Bela. The nine plus minute tune had Peter Murphy hanging upside down like a bat for the whole thing. The one downpoint was the band near the end of the main set stopped for 2-3 minutes and just waited for the crowd to cheer. It was one of those over indulgent "clap and go crazy for us until we feel like we have had enough". It was kind of a waste and a little out of their style, at least, that is what I felt.

Hell it was free I can't complain. Thanks to Steve for the ticket.

Set list if ya care.

Intro.

--Band Comes On Stage--

Burning From The Inside
In The Flat Field
A God In An Alcove
In Fear Of Fear
Terror Couple Kills Colonel
Swing The Heartache
She's In Parties
The Passion Of Lovers
Silent Hedges
Kick In The Eye
Hollow Hills
Rosegarden Funeral Of Sores
Stigmata Martyr
** On Stage Awaiting Crowd Reaction--
Hair Of The Dog
Dark Entries

--Band Leaves and Returns To Stage--

*Second Encore*
Slice Of Life
Telegram Sam
Ziggy Stardust

--Band Leaves and Returns To Stage--

*Third and Final Encore.
Bela Lugosi's Dead

Friday..Veterans Day.

First Happy Veterans Day. I know its cliche but take a second and thank a Vet.

The BBC did a story on the Best Gigs Ever. The set that Queen did at Live Aid on 13th July 1985 was considered the best. Have you ever see this freaking set? rent the DVD or buy it. I rented it off netflix and I know for a fact I said "I want to see Queen again". It was awesome. Freddie Mercury had that place in the palm of his hand.

What are you all time favorite gigs? The first time I saw U2 in 1987 is up there as is Sigur Ros from last month. Slint earlier this year was great and the Smashing
Pumpkins at TT the Bears with 299 of my closest friends was pretty stunning. I am sure I'll think of a few more after I hit "publish".

I know we were all goofy at age 13 but this blog
is priceless. Nothing beats her ramblings on Nirvana. I wish she would update it more. I found her link by going to my profile then clicking on my town. That way I can see all the other bloggers.

Startin' sometin....

Its getting to be late in the year and I need to get started working on my "favorite records of the year". Its a little thing that a co-worker and I started a few years ago (sheesh 8 or 9 years ago now?) just something fun.

I won't start by saying what I think is gonna make it or not. I put the new Fiona Apple cd in the changer and I really really like this record. Rumor has it the botched album sessions may come out in 2006. I am not sure why I like her, or why I should dislike her.

I have been reading a lot about The Magic Numbers as of late so I decided I'd hit amazon to grab it. (since freaking newbury comics closed near me). I love it when the press gets it right. This is band made up of 2 sets of brother/sisters. From the first song I knew it was a good purchase. I love it when I find, or when music finds me. Awesome.

Last night I went to get my haircut and on the ride home I was bouncing around the dial and I landed on Mike Fm. Its our local "ipod shuffle" station. This station does the trick nine times out of ten for me. Where else can a play list look like this?

Michael Jackson - Wanna be startin somethin
AC/DC - Highway to hell
REM - Everybody Hurts
KC and the Sunshine Band - Boogie Shoes
Go Go's - Head over heels.

The only down side was the MJ tune was the "radio edit" and we didn't get the extended chorus. I was ready to jam along w/MJ but they went over to AC/DC. REM slowed it down but the recent episode of the Office had Dwight in his car being all sad to it. I am an REM fan anyhow so I didn't mind.

I think thats it..have a grand day.

Good news for smart tv fans.

yay yay yay The Office is gonna get a full season. Well done NBC. Too bad freaking Survivor is gonna go at least 2 more seasons.

I love and hate ebay sometimes. It seems the Darkness, who are due to release a new cd later this month found their cd was leaked and the singer had to buyit off ebay to keep if from leaking!

Oh no...

This bird flu thing is worse that I thought...

Rooo-bee Tuezday

I am pretty sure it was George Carlin that said in a pondering way "try explaining the holocaust to a 6 year old". Last night I was faced with that challenge on some levels. My 6 year old got a series of biographies and one was on Anne Frank. I had looked it over before and I realize its part of history but is it really bedtime reading? We talked about it before hand and I told her to tell me to stop if she had questions or if it got to be too much. We made it. The only question she had was "why did they shave their heads". Now do you say "because they stuffed pillows with it?" Umm no I just said "lice was an issue". Call me a bastard but even I had to draw the line on where to go. I'll let her come to me with more questions, preferably NOT as she is about to go to bed.

I swear I thought this band gave up a while ago ugh now they need to "assure us" they are as strong as ever. Nice (lack of hair) there Freddie.


It appears that Jack White will pen a new song for coke. I swear I read that he said he was a good candidate cuz he drank 6 cans a day. Funny how that works.

It seems like drummers are having bad luck this year. The drummer from Silkworm was killed earlier this year when he was out getting lunch. He car was rear ended by a woman that was trying to kill herself. She lived, the 3 guys in the car she hit, didn't. Then I read this the other day. Very sad. I don't know a thing about them but it just sucks. There is a very cool picture of her in action here

Finally,this
is a funny read AND gross all at once.

Enjoy your day..I know I will try to.

few things...

I don't have a ton today. I was telling dim that earlier.

It looks likeSigur Roswill do a winter 2006 tour stopping in Portland Maine and Boston. I'd love to do both. Boston is more realistic as a Portland show would require at least 1/2 day off work etc.

Watchedthis saturday night after the bruins game. Now before you get all giddy its not what you'd think. Its actually pretty interesting on how this film was made and marketed etc. Its a good watch. There is of course the "scene" that gives the film its name but its not that long and its actually part of the story. The 2 most amazing things about the film (which I have NOT seen) are that is was made for 25,000 and grossed over 600 Million! The other is that at least for at time it was in theaters for over five years!

Bunch a' crap...

Yesterday I took at walk during lunch. Tossed on the ipod and I got my sweat on for 30 minutes or so. I passed a sign that got me to thinking. The sign was this long "No Tresspassing" type sign and at the end it just read "Police Take Notice". I had a Seinfeld moment. There is so many routes you can take here.

Police take notice of what?
After they take notice what do they do?
Aren't police supposed to "notice" stuff anyway?

There must be a law suit in there somewhere. I think I will take that and my case against the Mass Lottery for their Mass Millions lottery only having a jackpot of 500,000. Who is with me?!

Can anyone tell me what happened to Diet Coke with Lemon?

I have a few things on ebay that end on Monday. I check it every hour to see how much money I will get. I hate "watchers". bid please..just bid. Its a 99 cent cd..just freaking BID!

also welcome a good buddimto the blog world. Link has been added so you can always get to it. He is better w/the pen (or is it keyboard) than I.

Wow..who around your work place falls under...

.......1 in 31 Americans is either in Jail, on parole, or on probation. That is NUTS!

Yesterday I watched the Theo Epstein press conference. For those of you that might be out of state he is/was the youngest General Manager in Baseball History. He had worked for the Red Sox the last few years and his contract was up on 10/31. He suddenly "resginged" and held the press conference yesterday.

What a freaking waste. He has a career in politics. Talk about NOT answering the questions. He could dance around direct questions better than GWBush or John Kerry. The best was when a reporter asked him that if the reason for him NOT leaving was the money, the responsibility, the freedom etc why was he going. His response "You'll need to find the piece to that puzzle."

It was on every channel and then some here too. I looked to see if Rosa Parks funeral was on tv...nope (at least not at 1pm ET).

Finally re: press conferences, for the love of god MIC THE ROOM! You can hardly hear the questions asked. Is it THAT hard to say "these 4 mics must be used" Drive me mental. This was a planned press conference too (as most are) hang some overhead mics and just get the questions. A simple mixing board can "mute" the mics during the person answering the questions.

Last night I watched the film Midnight Cowboy. I had never seen it. It had won a lot of awards and its biggest distinction is the only film ever to win best picture with an "X" rating. Granted today it would be PG-13 at best. It was a good watch but I'd love to sit and chat with people in a film class or something about what the heck 1/2 of it meant.

100 Posts...

wow..i have done 100 of these. 99% of them have been unreadable too.

I can't get the song "Jesus walks" out of my head. Its that song you hear in the Jarhead movie previews. Kayne is great. I don't care what he said about George Bush. The whole genre is a far cry from my normal listening habits but his 2 records are WELL worth the price.

Wednesdays I have a weekly appointment that affords me about 30 minutes to do what I want to do. Today I ran to the bookstore. I got some holiday ideas for family (and myself). I am the WORST about reading though. I could walk in to Barnes and Noble and drop 100.00 EASY (and no, not on magazines). I looked at the clearance books and the like. There was a cool book called "How stuff works" and it was all 3D images of ipods and headphones. I was tempted..but at 29.99 for some "eye candy" I got my fill and moved on.

When I left I noticed the front door was COVERED in bugs. I don't mean 10 to 15 I mean a good 500. It was a swarm of these black bugs. I think the warm weather is messing w/mother nature. I saw a mosquito on Halloween night but we have had frost x2 here and I thought 2 frosts or more wiped out mosquitoes.

I still need to grab the new Star Wars dvd as well. Part of me can wait and just "ask for it" but the other part of me wants it RIGHT NOW.

Finally I got some email about a class action suit brought up against Netflix. The person that filed the claim said you "Don't get unlimited rentals" or "one day delivery" as promised. I love America but these silly lawsuits have GOT to freaking stop. This should have been tossed out from the get go. I have had very few issues with netflix regarding getting/sending/selecting dvds. I have rented my fair share and sure I get bummed if a Saturday passes and the movie I hoped to get didn't arrive but I wouldn't consider that grounds to sue someone. The settlement will get me FOUR movies at a time for ONE month as a method of "payback". I feel odd accepting it.

Awwwwwww ight.

Okay get this for the person who has everything but you are just not sure how to tell them they have issues.

Halloween was okay. Lots of kids came to the house. I do dislike highschool aged kids coming. I have to give them more candy out of fear my car will be egged or what not. Nice backbone eh? I also hate the trailer trash moms and dads that trick or treat w/their kids and the kids have no idea but the moms and dads have their own bags as well..and don't say thank you. Hey come to my door I am allowed to pass judgment right?

Heard on the radio today that a guy in Vermont could get life in prison for stealing maple syrup. He has been caught a few times and after the third time in Vermont you can get life. This was his SIXTH time getting caught (worse than drunk driving laws). I had to laugh at "what a waste of time this police case is" then I heard he was getting 1300.00+ dollars per barrel of the stuff he sold.

The first of the month blows. I sit down the night before and pay bills. I know its a fact of life but this is one job I could do without.

There are 3,500 fewer tv roles for professional actors last year because of reality tv.

At the current price of 2.07 per gallon for commercial jet fuel, it costs 110,975 to fill up Air Force One.