Update for February 2022

 

I keep saying I want to update this more often.  I’ve thought about social media a bit more as of late.  I am not a person that says they hate it.  Contrary I do enjoy a good Facebook/twitter scroll.  I take most things with a grain of salt and sort of leave people alone that I don’t agree with.  I have so few followers I can’t afford to block anyone!

Since the start of the year, I’ve been making some changes personally.  I’ve been having body issues for a few years now.  Quietly, it seems. I am not super keen on wearing a bathing suit for example.  Despite me being visually impaired without my glasses I think it’s a quiet relief I can’t see people looking at me.  I know talk about vanity “looking at you” etc.  Dunno its hard to describe.  I’ve been a “bigger” guy for a long time.  I recall speaking with my doctor about it once and he said “perhaps this is YOUR weight” meaning if you go up and down a few lbs. here and there that’s “normal” but you’ve been in the same area for XX years.  I am paraphrasing of course; the MD does make suggestions to get my weight down and be smart with food/exercise.  Another way to put it, I’ve been the same shirt/pant size for probably 10+ years.

At the start of this month, I think the pandemic finally hit me.  I had been trying to keep things “normal” for me.  For example, I chose to keep going into the office.  I didn’t mind.  My commute is not bad, and I really liked to separate “work” from “home”.  So, for the two years I’d work here and there at home “just because”.

I was in the middle of an early morning training and suddenly I got confused.  I had covered what I needed to cover 100’s of times before.  Suddenly I felt out of place.  I knew what I needed to say/ how I needed to say it..but I couldn’t.  Frantic I messaged a co-worker and said, “can you cover for me for a few minutes”.

2 years of trying to be “strong” I think finally got me.

After an MD visit that day and a few days off I was back at it.

Sense of purpose re-stored?

Anyhow, even before my “episode” I wanted to improve myself. (let’s get back to that second paragraph).  I wanted to come up with some cheesy hash tag and have a big weight loss before my birthday this summer.  First issue is I have no “picture of me before” (again, body issue??)  After an interesting new year eve, I decided I wanted to try “Dry January”.  In that I was not going to drink alcohol. 

I like to drink.  There I said it.  I like beer and having beers (notice the plural).  Sitting on a patio in summer with a beer…I could do that every day.  I am also grateful that I could always control my drinking in that I never missed work, hit anyone etc.  New Years Eve (I was home) I over did it though.  New Years day was basically “lost”.  I was drunk in front of my kids, hungover in front of my family.  It was embarrassing.

I made it through and into February.  As of this post I think I’ve only had 2-3 beers…tops.  Its odd I almost get “full” ½ way through one.  I don’t want to finish them.

I went out with some co-workers this past week and did have a few.  Even though it was a challenge to “keep up” like I used to.  This could be a good thing.

On top of the “improvement” I had asked for a few books for Christmas.  I have never been a prolific reader.  Matter of fact I can’t say I disliked reading, but I didn’t find pleasure in it.  I had asked for three books, got all three and as of this typing have completed two of them.

I had a goal to read a book per month I guess, and now two months in starting (some 80 pages in) my third I think this is a goal.

Have an idea for a double challenge in March.  Like most changes and challenges it will be that..at first. 

I’m seeing results in my appearance and like where this is going.

Going to add blogging into a March challenge as well. 

The list grows….