Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Man..I can't win.



This was a recent conversation w/Mrs. March.

First the set up.
Recently I started to get Men's Health magazine delivered to the house. I got it as part of one of the 972 fund raisers my kids do. The first issue arrives and I am flipping thru and of course stumble upon the obligatory sex survey.

This survey lays out how you can increase your odds of your wife/girlfriend being more in the mood doing less obvious things. For example 80+% of the women polled said that "If he did the dishes even SOMETIMES I'd be thrilled". Or "vacuuming" stuff like that.

Tootin my own horn time - I do the dishes every night..and I am never asked.

So the conversation.

Me - Hey this poll said that if I do dishes "most" of the time you get all hot and want to have sex more often?
Mrs - Huh?
Me - well this survey says all I have to do is the dishes "Sometimes" without you asking and the nights I do them you'll be so overtaken with desire we'd have sex.
Mrs - thats what it says huh?
Me - Yep
[after a pause]
Me - I think I'll stop doing the dishes..then the 2 times a week I DO do the dishes without being asked we'll almost assuredly have sex.
Mrs - You try that and the opposite will happen..you'd get none

5 Comments:

At Wednesday, March 14, 2007 3:52:00 PM , Blogger emetic sage said...

the opposite?

dude, there you go. the opposite of sex 2 times a week is sex 5 times a week.

 
At Thursday, March 15, 2007 9:49:00 AM , Blogger Kari Lee Townsend said...

Now that is funny. And your wife is soooo right. Quit doing the dishes and you get none. So in my book some is better than none;))

 
At Thursday, March 15, 2007 1:27:00 PM , Anonymous Tony said...

If you are not getting sex now, you have nothing to loose.

 
At Thursday, March 15, 2007 2:01:00 PM , Blogger Trish said...

Men's logic doesn't translate into woman-ese very well.

My suggestion is to keep doing what you are doing and be glad for "some" instead of "none". LOL

 
At Friday, March 16, 2007 3:26:00 PM , Blogger Jocular Schlemiel said...

I am with Tony dude. Along with the subscription to Men's Health, you should get a subscription to Swank.

 

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