Monday, December 11, 2006

and now..the nominees...

Sweet mother of all that is good and holy. If there is one thing most music fans loathe it is when the Grammy Award nominations come out. What is considered by many to be an absolute joke to begin with really showed how out of touch it was when Jethro Tull won best metal performance over Metallica. The academy (are they called that) made up for that major blunder by giving Metallica an award a year later..and drummer Lars Ulrich said "Thank god Tull didn't put out an album this year!". is a list of some of them..with my snide comments and observations.


For recordings released during the Eligibility Year October 1, 2005 through September 30, 2006
Note: More or less than 5 nominations in a category is the result of ties.

Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)

Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Not Ready To Make Nice - Dixie Chicks
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

My thoughts - I have heard 2 of these songs...10,000 times. Who should win - Gnarls Barkley. Who will win Dixie Chicks...middle America is back on board and EVERYONE wants a fresh new quote/meltdown on stage.

Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)

Taking The Long Way - Dixie Chicks
St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley
Continuum - John Mayer
Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers
FutureSex/LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake

My thoughts - I have heard 2 of these records. Neither would make my top 5 of the year but who am I to judge. Who will win - Justin Timberlake..the academy won't recognize the other names. Who should win - I'll go w/the RHCP mostly because it better than the others IMO..and you know that Mayer record just has to be ipecac.

Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)

Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
Jesus, Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood
Not Ready To Make Nice - DixieChicks
Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae
You're Beautiful - James Blunt

My thoughts. Holy crap..just reading that list makes me want to kill myself. Who will win - Is James Blunt the only one that released something of note this year? You could not escape that song this year. Who should - my gut says Corinne Bailey Rae..she will be this years Norah Jones and the music biz needs her BADLY.

Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)
James Blunt
Chris Brown
Imogen Heap
Corinne Bailey Rae
Carrie Underwood
My thoughts - anyone can win this..cuz remember if you win this you get the curse. Milli Vanilli won did Men At Work. Who will win - Blunt. Who should CBailey Rae..and its not because I want her to fail..if that were the case it would be Underwood!!!

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

Ain't No Other Man - Christina Aguilera
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
You Can Close Your Eyes - Sheryl Crow
Stupid Girls - Pink
Black Horse And The Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall

My thoughts - before you read this did you realize Pink had any other songs besides "Get this Party Started"? Tossing out my "indie cred" I'll admit I L-O-V-E-D Unwritten..i sing that song every time I hear it. Who will win - Sheryl Crow ..hello cancer survivor...Who should win - KT Tunstall.

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Save Room - John Legend
Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer
Jenny Wren - Paul McCartney
Bad Day - Daniel Powter

My thoughts - Freaking A I am beginning to think Blunt has some incriminating photos of the president of the academy. Hello wake up..of all the songs you had to choose you HAD to include a Paul McCartney tune?! Holy crap. In a show of hands have you ..or anyone you know bought anything from Sir Paul in the last few years. (beatles excluded) by this point the audience and academy has to be sick of Blunt so sadly McCartney is gonna get it..just to freaking kill me..and as the ass hat accepts his award he will do that frickin "THUMBS UP" shit he always does..UGGGGH.

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal

(For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

My Humps - The Black Eyed Peas
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
Is It Any Wonder? - Keane
Stickwitu - The Pussycat Dolls

My thoughts - I need a drink..whew. No matter what I try to say or do....Black Eyed Peas or the Pcat dolls will win this. The biggest reason..FASHION. What are they wearing. Death Cab looks like book store clerks. BOOOOOOOORING even if the song was good its not good TV.

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

For Once In My Life - Tony Bennett & Stevie Wonder
One - Mary J. Blige & U2
Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado & Timbaland
Hips Don't Lie - Shakira & Wyclef Jean

My thoughts - okay I just threw up a little in my mouth. Bennett and Wonder..been there done that w/Ebony And Ivory. I really like U2 but that version SAA-HUCKS. Who will win - Tony Bennett. He has been everywhere since that NBC special..and everyone else has years more to win.

Best Pop Instrumental Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

Mornin' - George Benson (& Al Jarreau)
Drifting - Enya
Subterfuge - Bela Fleck & The Flecktones
Song H - Bruce Hornsby
My Favorite Things - The Brian Setzer Orchestra

My thoughts - Enya still makes records?! Its also an odd category since George Benson is jazz, Enya is basically new age, Hornsby is rock for aging hippies..well in a sense, Setzer is swing. There are a ton of instrumental categories this needed to be spread out. Who should win - no idea..who will Enya.

Best Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

Back To Basics - Christina Aguilera
Back To Bedlam - James Blunt
The River In Reverse - Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint
Continuum - John Mayer
FutureSex/LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake

My thoughts - Okay blunt..who the f' are you sleeping with?? gad zoolies..why does the academy always recognize Costello at the wrong times. Its a challenging listen for sure. Every woman i know it seems loves Aguilera and Timberlake. This is a total crap shoot...whooo boy..I think Aguilera takes it..but only after the pan the audience looking for another crotch picture of Britney...

Best Dance Recording
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances. Vocal or Instrumental. Singles or tracks only.)

Suffer Well - Depeche Mode
Ooh La La - Goldfrapp
Get Together - Madonna
I'm With Stupid - Pet Shop Boys
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake & Timbaland

My thoughts - having anyone win but Timberlake or Madonna i'd have a scant more respect for the academy..even if the songs are not as good..but lets face it..Goldfrapp is not gonna win this.

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

Duets: An American Classic - Tony Bennett
Caught In The Act - Michael Bubl
Wintersong - Sarah McLachlan
Bette Midler Sings The Peggy Lee Songbook - Bette Midler
Timeless Love - Smokey Robinson

My thoughts - Shee grandmother doesn't even own any of these lame records. if this is the best no wonder people think music sucks. Come on...none of this is even "modern". I know I know.each has a place but if this the best...i am scared for the worst.

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance

(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

Nausea - Beck
Someday Baby - Bob Dylan
Route 66 - John Mayer
Saving Grace - Tom Petty
Lookin' For A Leader - Neil Young

My thoughts. Beck and Mayer don't have a chance. Look at the legends on this list.

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal
(For duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

Talk - Coldplay
How To Save A Life - The Fray
Steady, As She Goes - The Raconteurs
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Saints Are Coming - U2 & Green Day

My thoughts - Dim said it can anything off XY (coldplay)be nominated? much as I love U2 that song is horrid. A DJ on sirius said it best..when he said "if this were not U2..or Green day for that matter I am not sure we'd play it". Who will win - U2/Green Day as it was a charity single...Who should - Raconteurs..cuz that song is great.

Best Hard Rock Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Crazy Bitch - Buckcherry
Every Day Is Exactly The Same - Nine Inch Nails
Lonely Day - System Of A Down
Vicarious - Tool
Woman - Wolfmother

My thoughts - the music biz gave up on Buckcherry a few years ago and even if they sold a lot of records they do not want to say "bitch" if they don't have to. NIN has slowed WAAAY down and System is much like XY..been out too long. The academy won't waste the vote on Tool who just won't show up.

Best Metal Performance
(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)
Redneck - Lamb Of God
Colony Of Birchmen - Mastodon
Lies, Lies, Lies - Ministry
Eyes Of The Insane - Slayer
30/30-150 - Stone Sour

My thoughts - the coolest categories (ie the ones w/the potential for the most entertaining acceptance speeches) are never televised. Mastodon released one hell of a record but my gut thinks Stone Sour for some reason as the safe call. Nasville Pussy was nominated a few years ago for this award and part of me was begging for some prude presenter needing to read that name...never happened..bastards.

Best Rock Instrumental Performance

(For solo, duo, group or collaborative performances, without vocals. Includes Rock, Hard Rock and Metal. Singles or Tracks only.)
Chun Li's Flying Bird Kick - Arctic Monkeys
The Wizard Turns On...- The Flaming Lips
Black Hole Sun - Peter Frampton
Catsellorizon - David Gilmour
Super Colossal - Joe Satriani
My thoughts - I'd love to see the Flaming Lips win for so many reasons..mostly because Wayne would give a speech like this..(just pt 1)

How can Frampton get a nod for a song he didn't even write?! Satriani has owned this category for ages..look for them to stick w/familiar ground here.

Best Rock Song
(A Songwriter(s) Award. Includes Rock, Hard Rock & Metal songs. For Song Eligibility Guidelines see Category #3. (Artist names appear in parenthesis.) Singles or Tracks only.)

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Lookin' For A Leader - Neil Young
Someday Baby - Bob Dylan
When You Were Young - The Killers

My thoughts - Killers and Snow Patrol are too new. They are up against Dylan and Young. Even though radio seems to shy away from anything new these guys put out look for one of them to pull it off. The jaded middle ager that tunes in will freak out if anyone BUT Young or Dylan wins..cuz everything new "sucks' don't cha know?

Best Rock Album
(Vocal or Instrumental. Includes Hard Rock and Metal.)
Try! - John Mayer Trio
Highway Companion - Tom Petty
Broken Boy Soldiers - The Raconteurs
Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Living With War- Neil Young

My thoughts - Sweet lord..i am ready to break out in convulsions. As far as a rock album Raconteurs is the way to go but Petty or Young get it...again..familiarity for the home and voting audience. The RHCP could have made 2 records down in to one that would have been way better.

Best Alternative Music Album
(Vocal or Instrumental.)
Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
At War With The Mystics - The Flaming Lips
St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley
Show Your Bones - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Eraser - Thom Yorke

My thoughts - this is where the academy will shoot itself in the foot. Look for Gnarls to take this..soley based off the strength of "Crazy". If they were to vote for Thom Yorke or the Arctic Monkeys it would scream they are a bunch of fakes and really have no clue. (I liked the AMonkeys record to boot). As a huge fan I'd love to see the Lips win..but if anyone wins barring Gnarls I'll be stunned..

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance

(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Ring The Alarm - Beyonce
Be Without You - Mary J. Blige
Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey
Day Dreaming - Natalie Cole
I Am Not My Hair - India.Arie

My thoughts - is there something in my eye? Natalie Cole?! I consider myself pretty much on the pulse of a vast amount of music even if I don't like it..but I have seen, heard, read NOTHING about her since that abomination "Unforgettable" won years ago. This category I don't have a strong opinion on as I am not too I'll be like the academy...look for Cole to win.

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)
Heaven - John Legend
So Sick - Ne-Yo
Black Sweat - Prince
I Call It Love - Lionel Richie
Got You Home - Luther Vandross

My thoughts - Vandross gets the nod posthoumsuly. There are better Prince tunes on 3121. Even though Lionel Richie is on the cusp of Tony Bennett like resurgence popularity look for Luther to get the ladies to take their panties off again.

Best R&B Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)
The Breakthrough - Mary J. Blige
Unpredictable - Jamie Foxx
Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship - India.Arie
3121 - Prince
Coming Home - Lionel Richie

My thoughts - Jamie Foxx has a record out? If he wins it slaps everyone else nominated in the face. Even though I have not heard it I just have a feeling it sucks.

Best Reggae Album

(Vocal or Instrumental.)

Too Bad - Buju Banton
Love Is My Religion - Ziggy Marley
Youth - Matisyahu
Rhythm Doubles - Sly & Robbie
Who You Fighting For - UB40

My thoughts - anyone out of college actually listen to more than a single reggae track by anyone other than Bob Marley? Like anything there is a time and place but a whole category..whew. Of all of them Matisyahu had the most radio play....this is a crap shoot but I think the name Marley stands out to the voters.

Best Musical Show Album

(Award to the Album Producer(s), and to the Lyricist(s) & Composer(s) of 51% or more of a new score. (Artist, Lyricist & Composer names appear in parenthesis.))

The Color Purple
The Drowsy Chaperone
Jersey Boys
The Pajama Game
Sweeney Todd

My thoughts - Anyone see any of these? Anyone hear of these besides Sweeny Todd and the Color Purple? The Color Purple wins this cuz Oprah had her hands in on it. Watch that night as she breaks both arms patting her self on the back...

Album Art
There are 2 categories for best album package and best box set. I think the days of this category are numbered. What will replace it? Most desirable jpg from down load.

And finally....
Best Short Form Music Video
(For an individual track or single promotional clip. Award to the Artist and to the Video Director/Producer.)

8th Of November - Big & Rich
When You Were Young - The Killers
Here It Goes Again - OK Go
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Writing On The Walls - Underoath

My thoughts - first as I always say I realize I am no longer MTV's target demo. That being said where does one even SEE videos these days..oh yeah You Tube. I am sure all these are posted. I have only seen two and i have to say that the Ok Go was very clever. I am still shocked that record labels budget for this in a bands contract..because so many of them go unseen.

Don't say I didn't warn you.....


At Monday, December 11, 2006 10:53:00 AM , Blogger Debbie said...

This was a really good post. Unfortunately, I got so disgusted I couldn't really read the whole thing, except for your two cents.

Um, Imogen Heap has been around for a decade.

The rest is just awful. That f**king song, Save Room, makes me want to hurt someone bad; John Mayer needs to retrieve his penis from wherever he lost it (f'ing pussy); and I haven't even heard that Justin Timberlake song or the Black Eyed Peas or James Blunt or whatever.

I think we should plan a coup and take this shit over and nominate the real musicians.

At Monday, December 11, 2006 11:13:00 AM , Blogger Dim said...

Awesome job with this man...I won't be watching. I know that much.

- D.

At Monday, December 11, 2006 11:19:00 AM , Blogger The Guinness Tooth said...

Great summary, I agree with you on just about everything, but album of the year; I think Gnarls will take it.

There is so much I want to complain about, but thats not your fault, so I'll leave it off.

I do have a question, if anyone would care to answer it. Why are the Dixie Chicks nominated? I thought country musicians got their own awards. It's like that whole girls can play on a boys team in high school, but boys can't play on a girls team rule. It is unfair.

I really don't understand how they could have a category dedicated to instrumental music, and not nominate either of the album MONO put out this year, or the EITS re-release.

At Monday, December 11, 2006 11:29:00 AM , Blogger Jocular Schlemiel said...

I personally think Promiscuous will win Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals. Besides, the song is good, Nelly Furtado is insane to look at, and Timberland is the man.

At Monday, December 11, 2006 11:50:00 AM , Blogger Jenny G said...

Jethro Tull didn't even bother to show up that year. Suffer Well? Dammit, Depeche Mode had so many better songs on their album! And the dance category? WTF? It's nice to see them nominated even though I have as much of a chance of winning as they do. I didn't know there was an album art category or a reggae one. I can tell I won't be watching this year.

Ohhh, off topic, but I just saw you recently rented Saw and Saw II. Aren't they awesome?!

At Monday, December 11, 2006 4:10:00 PM , Blogger Annoyed said...

Great post... The Dixie Chicks will win and they deserve to win. The album is great! Another score for Rick Rubin.

Springsteen is nominated for best folk album and if he shows up with the Seger Sessions Band I will tune in... If not, I will skip the broadcast as well.

However, I do have to take exception to this...

"Hornsby is rock for aging hippies."

As someone who has seen Hornsby at least ten times I can call nonsense on that!

Hornsby is a genius. His live shows are much more jazz influenced than "jam Band"

The song he's nominated for is a classical piece.

He's one of the most respected piano players in music.... ALL of music.

He played with the Grateful Dead for a year and half full time before leaving because "it wasn't his thing"

Last time I saw him he played solo at Carnigie Hall. No hippies anywhere.

The guy is as good as it gets.

At Saturday, December 16, 2006 9:00:00 PM , Blogger RSL said...

Lists like these drive me crazy. It's like watching them name the Major League Baseball MVP. It ends of being more a contest to see how far the voters can stretch the balloting towards a popular individual while legitimatizing the snubbing of an otherwise worthy dark horse candidate. Sadly - in our culture, popularity = votes... Not worthiness for such awards.

(Thank God the weblog award people weren't so stuck up - they gave a shot to a new guy! eh?)


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